Lost Comfort
by theOriginalCaLaMa
Summary: Elena is out of college and back in Mystic Falls after Matt got her pregnant when Elena and Stefan broke up. She doesn't love Matt, and she needs someone to trust -so why does she find herself falling for Damon Salvatore all over again?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, or the concept behind the Vampire Diaries, but I do own this plot.

**Summary: **Elena is out of college and back in Mystic Falls after Matt got her pregnant when Elena and Stefan broke up. She doesn't love Matt, and she needs someone to trust -so why does she find herself falling for Damon Salvatore all over again?

**Based off of the song, "Strange and Beautiful," By Aqualung**

**Elena's POV**

As I found myself behind the wheel driving back to Mystic Falls, there was only one person on my mind. Damon. I figured he would be gone after I broke up with Stefan -I couldn't face him after I found out I was pregnant, no doubt with Matt's child.

After Stefan and I went our separate ways, I avoided Damon. I went to college and struggled with being a single parent. I took comfort in knowing that Isobel of all people was there to help me. She helped me get my act together when I told Matt I didn't want his help. When I told her I was going back home after my senior year of college was over, she had faith in me. She gave me her phone number and left me with best wishes as I got on the road.

And here I am, driving down these familiar roads and streets of my home. I made a sharp right turn into the complex I had already visited and set up to my liking. I got Hayley out of her car seat and quietly shut the car door before clicking the lock button on my keys.

I unlocked the door to my apartment, and laid a sleeping Hayley gently into her crib. I turned the baby monitor on next to the crib and walked out of the room, my phone in hand. I dialed Jenna's number, and moved a few stray strands of hair away from my face.

"Hello?" Jenna answered, her voice bubbly and full of life.

"Hey it's me," I said, a smile on my face.

"Elena, where are you? You need to get your ass over here before everybody gets here!" She exclaimed. I had conveniently decided to come home just in time for Thanksgiving. And even though Thanksgiving was a quiet holiday, Jenna always had the best get-togethers with our family. In conclusion, I was happy to be home.

"I'm here, when do you want me?" I asked, trying to keep my voice low.

"Um, now. You are going to be so happy you came home!" She said excitedly and hung up. I smiled and rolled my eyes. _Same old Jenna_.

**~One Day Prior~**

**Damon's POV**

I was back in Georgia when I got _the_ call.

"Hello?" I answered, surprised to hear Jenna's voice in my ear.

"Damon, hey it's Jenna. Where are you?" She asked. I was immediately confused.

"Um, come again? I'm in Georgia. Why?" I said, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Elena." One simple word had me off my seat, jacket on, and my car keys in hand.

"What happened? Is she hurt?" I worriedly said waiting for Jenna's response.

"No, calm down. She's fine. Damon, Elena's coming home." She said, I could hear the smile in her voice. "I figured you wouldn't want to miss your second chance." She said confidently.

"Jenna, if I could kiss you I would." I said ecstatically hitting end on my cell phone. I wouldn't mess this up.

I couldn't.

**~Present Day~**

**Elena's POV**

I pulled into Jenna's driveway. I got out and got Hayley out of her car seat, and took a deep breath. I got my key out and used it to open the door.

"Hello?" I called out, and Jenna came rushing out from the kitchen.

"Elena!" She cried as she threw her arms around me. She saw Hayley who instantly woke up and held her arms out to Jenna. "Hi Hayley," She said cooing, rubbing her nose against Hayley's. I couldn't help but smile wide. "Elena, you should go upstairs and get settled." She said, preoccupied with Hayley pulling on her necklace. I kissed Hayley's cheek, and started for the stairs.

"Is Jer upstairs?" I asked quietly, motioning with my index finger at the ceiling. Jenna nodded, and smiled at my expression. I hadn't seen Jeremy in almost a year.

I walked as quietly as I could up the stairs, and walked towards Jeremy's room. I knocked twice, and opened the door. No wonder he hadn't heard me, he had his headphones in and was on the computer typing something. I walked over to him and pulled one of his ear buds out. He looked up at me annoyed but then smiled and stood up and hugged me.

"Hey," I said, hitting his stomach accidentally when I pulled out of his arms. I looked up at him, shocked as I punched him in the stomach. It was as hard as a rock. "When did that happen?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"I'm not your kid brother anymore, Elena." He said.

"Well I can see that." I laughed and walked out of his room to my own, and shut the door.

I laid down flat on my back on my bed, and covered my eyes with my hands. I felt the air around me stir, and I sat up quickly. All the filled m vision was Damon, standing by my window, in his famous black leather jacket smiling down at me. My jaw dropped, and as fast as I could I stood up and threw my arms around his neck. He wasted no time in wrapping his strong arms around me, holding me. I smelled his cologne or his natural scent and inhaled slowly, reminiscing in all the good times we shared.

"_You must be Elena. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother." _

"_He didn't tell me he had a brother."_

"_I see why my brother is so smitten." _

"_Yeah, I should probably go. It was nice meeting you Damon." _

"_Great meeting you too Elena." He said and kissed the back of my hand._

"_I'm sorry Elena, I know what it's like to lose both of your parents, in fact Stefan and I have watched almost every single person we care about die."_

"_I like you. You know how to laugh. And you make Stefan smile which is something I haven't seen in a very long time."_

"_Doesn't it always come down to the love of a woman?"_

"_I look like her."_

"_Where are we?" _

"_In Georgia." "No, Damon seriously where are we?" _

"_No seriously, we're, we're in Georgia."_

"_Am I going to be safe with you?" _

"_Yes." _

"_You promise no to do that mind control thing with me?""Yes." _

"_Can I trust you?" _

"_Get in the car."_

"_Of course I was going to do it by myself because the person I can count on is me!"_

"_But I can do one better. Give me the book Stefan, or I'm snapping her neck, and you and I can both have a vampire girlfriend."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_You ask I come. I'm easy like that."_

"_I love you, Elena." _

I sighed, remembering everything. I stepped away from him, thinking about what I had left here, with Damon.

"I thought you would have left a long time ago." I admitted.

"Jenna called me and told me you were coming home. I couldn't miss that now could I." He replied, smirking his signature grin. I smiled, still thinking about everything we had been through. "I'm glad she called." He said, catching my attention. I turned my gaze on him.

"Are you staying for any length of permanence?" I asked, still gazing at him piercing blue eyes.

"Only if I'm wanted." He said smiling.

"We need to talk, catch up." I said nonchalantly, mentally noting to myself to thank Jenna for doing this.

"Elena, you don't need to explain anything to me." He said, and I shook my head. I took his hands in mine, and closed the distance between us.

"I'm finally ready to rid myself of my inner daemons." I said, as I leaned my forehead against his.

"I will always be here for you Elena." He promised her, as his lips descended upon hers.

**Well, crazy idea right? Yea, tell me what you guys think. Please let me know if I should continue or what. **

**CLM**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, Chapter 2. Hm. I really have no idea where to take this story, but if you wanna message me ideas you can or in your reviews I'm all ears for what you guys have to say.**

**TWO**

**Damon's POV**

I pulled back and kissed her cheek, and my lips moved back to hers as I kissed her lovingly, not wanting to break away from her. Her hands came up to cup my face, and I opened my eyes as she pulled back. I gazed down at her, my eyes never leaving her, as she leaned her forehead against mine. I held her there, wrapping my left arm around her and my other hand stroking her cheek.

"You know I love you right?" I said out of nowhere. Elena's eyes met mine, filled with shock and disbelief at my forwardness. She squeezed her arms around my neck, nuzzling her face against my chest.

"We should really talk," She said quietly, her eyes not meeting mine.

"People are just getting here," I reminded her. "I can stay after, help you and Jenna clean up, that sort of thing." He said, rubbing circles on her lower back, trying to set her at ease.

"Ok," I said as we broke apart and descended the stairs.

**Elena's POV**

Right as my foot hit the bottom step, I heard a knock at the door. Damon motioned to get it but I waved him off to go join Jenna in the kitchen. I walked to the door and opened it, John standing before me.

"John, hi." I said slowly, my eyes not leaving him. His eyes lit up at my words. It didn't seem right to call him my 'uncle' anymore, but I definitely wasn't going to call him 'Dad' anytime soon. He stepped inside and gave me a awkward hug, kissing my cheek.

"It's nice to see you again, Elena." he said, and I motioned for him to go into the kitchen. I closed the door, and leaned up against it. _How am I supposed to coexist with him_?

I walked into the living room, seeing my cousin Meredith talking to Jenna, who was to no surprise holding Hayley. As soon as I walked into the room Hayley's face lit up and I crossed the room with my arms outstretched taking her in my arms. I caught Damon gazing at me from across the room, and whispered a silent _Thank you_ to Jenna. She winked at me, and I sat on the black leather loveseat sitting catty-corner facing out.

John turned his stare on me, and his jaw dropped. I had forgotten the last time we spoke was right before I went off to college. Meredith, being the amazing person she was, stepped over right as John started speaking and took Hayley from me.

"Elena, can I speak to you for a moment?" He asked, a little too obvious to his initial reaction. I kissed Hayley's forehead, and watched Damon's eyes follow us until I wasn't in sight from my other family anymore. We walked onto the front porch, and I sat down, ready to hear my fill of worthless rambling from my biological father. "What happened to you?" He asked, but I couldn't bring myself to look up at him.

"What do you mean?" I said, trying to lighten the tension in the atmosphere.

"Elena, you are twenty-two years old, with a child?" he said, almost as if he was ashamed.

"What do you want me to say Dad?" Forcing myself to look up at him, I continued. "Do you want me to lie and say that I care about what you think of me? Well I don't. You made that very clear a long time ago." I said defiantly.

"Who's is it?" He asked, I knew who he was thinking of.

"It's not who you think it is, and it doesn't matter." I said. "I didn't need his help. Unlike you, Isobel actually helped me." I said, and his look changed from shock to anger. I could see the vein popping out in his forehead and his neck.

"You're joking, right? Why would Isobel help you?" He asked, scoffing at what I had said.

"She may be a vampire, but she has something left in her after everything that happened. She's not some egotistical vampire-hunter thinking he knows what's best for his daughter when he isn't even close." I said, trying to hurt him.

"Elena, the last thing I wanted was for you to get dragged into this, but you did, and I'm telling you now that I can help you." he said, looking intently down at me.

"What do you mean, you can help me?" I questioned. He didn't answer me though. "In case you haven't noticed John, I've known you're my father for the past five years, and even then, you made no move to interact with me, or Jeremy for that matter. I don't want, or need your help." I said harshly.

"Elena, I'm trying to reach my hand out to you now, especially since you have a child now." He said, and I dropped my eyes to the ground. The door opened, and Damon stepped out.

"Is there a problem here?" He asked John while closing the door, stepping protectively in front of me.

"You stay away from my daughter." John said stepping forward.

"John, I wouldn't," I warned him, looking to the side so I could see his face.

"Elena, stay out of this." He said, directing his glare back to Damon. "How could you put her through this, again?" He asked, and I couldn't think of anything in relation to what John was saying.

"How could I? You her father and you haven't been in her life at all, and when you were you ostracized her and only made things harder for her with Isobel." Damon countered, and I tried to step in front of him, but his right arm held me back.

"Damon, you know what will happen, right? Or have you completely lost your sense through the years?" John said, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop fighting!" I said, quieter than I wanted. I touched Damon's forearm with my hand. "Go back inside, I'll be fine." I reassured him, as he looked at me longingly when he finally nodded, and glared at John before walking back inside.

"What does it even matter if I have a child?" I asked.

"I never understood how you saw redeeming qualities in him." He said, and I glared at him. It took everything inside of me not to slap him across the face, but I just stood up and moved for the door. He grabbed my wrist, and I tried to pull free of his grasp.

"John, you're going to want to let go of me, or Damon will rip you to shreds, now especially since you no longer have a magical ring." I reminded him.

"It means the Petrova bloodline is continued, and that's dangerous. You need to be protected." He said, letting go of my wrist.

"I have all the protection I'll need." I said, still not looking at him.

"Damon Salvatore?" He mocked. "You're going to need more protection than that waste of space." He said.

"He may not be important to you, or to anyone else in this world. But he is to _me_." I emphasized. "Nothing you say is going to change anything between us. We've always had a connection, and some strange understanding, and I stood by him when he did wrong, and when he hurt people. Because I care. I care about him. And that's something that he couldn't say before. But even though I need him, and I'm just a weak little human girl, he needs me too." I said, and I opened the door, slamming it shut wiping a few stray tears that had managed to fall as I walked into the kitchen.

Meredith walked inside, and hugged me from behind. I let more tears fall as I finally took in what all was just said, and realized this wasn't the last if John unfortunately. Meredith had been there for me, and she was really the only one in my family besides Jeremy that understood me. She didn't push me to talk about it, because she knew I would either call her and confess everything, or pour it all out into my diary.

I splashed water on my face, and cleaned myself up before walking back into the living room, where nobody was. I heard them in the dining room, and walked to an unoccupied seat at the large table where everything was set up. Candles, favors, and of course all of the food. My stomach growled loudly, and I tried to remember when the last time I had actually eaten a home-cooked meal.

Damon was to my right, and Jeremy to my left. There were a few distant relatives across from me, and Alaric and Jenna were sitting on the ends. I smiled at Alaric when his gaze landed on mine. Jenna finally came back in, and with John trailing behind her, sitting next to Alaric. I was glad I couldn't immediately see him from my seat, and Jenna lit the candles.

"Shall we say grace?" She asked smiling, and Damon took my hand as I took Jeremy's in my other. I looked down, giving respect even though I could only think about what Damon and I were going to talk about later that same evening. "Dear Lord, thank you for these gifts laid out for us, and thank you for bringing Elena home to us, and we give thanks to be able to share this holiday with those we care about. Amen." She said, and I let go of Jeremy's hand, but still held Damon's.

Dinner ultimately went well. I got asked a lot of questions, how was I adjusting to life back home, but most of all asked was how Hayley came to be. I explained that Matt had rekindled our relationship for some time during my junior year of college, and when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't want help.

I was glad that people broke off into separate conversations after the Hayley business was out of the way. I savored each bite of food, and broke away from dinner _and _Damon to feed Hayley, and lay her down for the night. I was smart enough to think to bring a pack-and-play in my rush this afternoon. I grabbed a blanket and Hayley's pacifier, and kissed her cheek. She was so quiet and good I couldn't help but thank my lucky stars that I had been lucky enough to get a baby that hardly ever cried.

I laid her down, wrapping her loosely in the blanket, and put the pacifier softly in her mouth, stroking her baby-soft hair as I turned the lights out in my room. Damon touched my back, and I whirled around.

"You can go down and enjoy yourself. I'll hear her even before a baby monitor would." he said smirking his cocky grin that I had missed. I gave him a small smile, and brushed past him to walk downstairs. Even though people were still here, I started bringing all of the dishes into the kitchen, setting them near the sink as I turned on the warm water and plugged the sink. I put the silverware in first, washing them and putting them in the dish washer. I grabbed a sponge, putting dishwashing liquid on it. I picked up a glass, and it slipped from my grip. I waited for the crash of glass on tile, but it never came.

Damon silently handed me the glass, grabbing a hand towel and swinging it over his shoulder. I washed and he dried, and he started cleaning the wine glasses, putting them back into their respective cupboards as I got the place mats and napkins. I threw the napkins onto the counter, making a mental note to put them in the washing machine later.

I folded the placemats back up, and put them in a drawer. I groaned, not wanting to go do the laundry, but reluctantly made to grab them, but decided against it since I was exhausted.

I decided to go up to my room, glad that Jeremy had let me put Hayley in his room. He was a great uncle, especially since he always wanted to be a part of her life. And plus, vampires other than Anna weren't invited into his room.

I heard goodbyes as I saw headlights pulling out of the driveway. I opened my window, and climbed on the flatter part of it. I always used to do this when I was overwhelmed, and I figured Damon would like it our here. I heard the wind stir around me, and Damon was next to me. Lying next to each other, it hurt to break the silence.

"I was coming for you," I said absently. He looked at me in confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked, stroking my cheek.

"When Rose kidnapped me," I said, wincing remembering Rose. "When you killed Elijah, Stefan stepped in front of me. I was coming to you," I said, trying to remember more of that night.

"Elena, you don't have to explain," He said, as I shook my head. I took both of his hands in mine, sitting up.

"Yes, I do. You need to know, everything." I concluded.

"Elena, you don't have to do anything you don't want to-" he started, but I interrupted.

"Damon, you need to hear this." I said firmly.

He nodded at me, giving me his already undivided attention.

"That night, I've replayed that night over and over in my head, but I could never bring myself to tell you that I remember everything that was said that night." I said. He looked at me intently, waiting for me to elaborate. "You didn't compel me that night, Damon." I said, and awe washed over his face. "As soon as I came home, I drank vervain tea." I explained, squeezing his hands to get him to look at me again. "But Damon, it doesn't matter, that you tried to compel me. You were compelling me to forget, not to not feel. Ever since then, I've tried so hard not to break down and tell you the feelings were mutual, because I didn't realize until it was too late."

"I was leaving, Stefan and I were off and on, and Rose, Damon I felt so bad when Rose died. The town was safe, and I knew I was. I knew at that point that was all that mattered to you. My safety and wellbeing." I said, letting his taking in everything he was hearing. "But, Damon I couldn't face you after I talked with Katherine. I knew that, inevitably I would die. But, she showed me something, a night that if I could do over, I would." I said. I tilted his chin up to look at me, seeing tears brimming his eyelids.

"The night you kissed Katherine, I didn't know what really happened. She gave me that memory. She told me it was wrongfully taken from me, and that I should have given in earlier. Damon, you put walls up around you, not to keep others out, but to see who's willing to fight and break them down. I truly wish it would have been me, and not Katherine who you kissed, but I can't do anything to turn back time. I can only move forward. Damon, I've fought you so many times before, but every time I was one step closer to breaking. Damon, you truly got to me in a way nobody ever has before. I wish that instead of us fighting our feelings for each other back then, we could have stopped being stubborn and just let each other be happy for once." I said, my eyes not leaving Damon. "When I saw you for the first time in so long, I thought you would have given up a long time ago." I admitted, laughing a shaky laugh.

He couldn't take his gaze off of me, but somehow I figured he was just thinking about how to respond. He pulled me to him, crushing me to his chest. He rolled us over, pressing his full weight on me, kissing my lips. This kiss wasn't like anyone I had ever had before though. It was sweet, and innocent, something I never originally pegged Damon for being. He cupped my cheek and I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my hands in his dark locks. In that moment, for once, everything felt right.

"Elena, I could never give up," He murmured against my lips.

**You likey? Yeah, pretty dang evil for ending there right?**

**Anyways, this story got a lot of good feedback, and does favorite story = win now? I haven't been on fan fiction in a while. Yep, I'm out of touch, too much school work. **

**Well, lemme think of more ideas to suffice your guys' hunger for Delena moments…**

**CLM **

**P.S. No certain date planned for update…unfortunately.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Honestly, I'm really not sure where to take this story…I'll try to update every week, but for now I only have some small ideas for a plot…help? Anyways, suggestions, songs I should listen to, all of that is completely welcome in reviews.**

**THREE**

**Damon's POV**

I was laying on a roof gazing at the woman I love as she explains to me that she loves me too. And I couldn't be happier.

I pulled her to me, hugging her to my chest warmly, and pressed my lips to hers. I rolled us over so I was on top of her, pressing my full weight on her.

"Elena, I could never give up," I murmured against her lips. I had my mouth on hers once again, not breaking the kiss, soaking in the moment. I knew deep down I could never be the man she wanted me to be. I could only try to be the better man around her. "Thank you," I said, and she opened her eyes, looking confused.

"I heard your little conversation with John earlier," I whispered in her ear, and pulled out of my arms and sat up.

"Damon, I don't think we should do this," she said, her gaze not meeting mine.

"Elena, please," I pleaded, but realized how selfish I was being.

"Damon, so many things have changed since then. I can't be what you want, or what you need." She tried to explain desperately.

"Elena, no matter what you say, you are always going to be everything and anything I need. You're already what I want, baggage and all." I told her, trying to get her to understand what I felt for her.

"Damon, I have a child! How can you want me knowing that? And after everything else I have done to you, how could you want me?" She asked me, and I was mentally laughing at her for how blind she was when it came to our relationship.

"Elena, it doesn't matter. It never did!" I exclaimed. There were tears in her eyes as she threw her arms around my neck, and I wasted no time in wrapping my arms around her fragile body.

"I don't want to hurt you again." she whispered in my ear.

"Nothing you do will ever hurt me," I whispered back, her shuttering in response.

"I'm not saying no, just can we take things slow?" She asked, and I tipped her chin up with my index finger, nodding in response. "I need to go, clear my head." She explained, and I simply nodded. She pressed her lips to mine, tears still rolling down her cheeks as I sped away into the night.

**Elena's POV**

I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, watching Damon blur into the darkness. I shuffled my way down, and sat on the window sill, jumping down into my room in one swift movement. I immediately cringed as I remembered Hayley was in the other room, and I hoped I hadn't woken her.

I walked through the bathroom to Jer's room, and opened the door quietly, but then realized Jeremy was playing with Hayley, tickling her, and play peek-a-boo while she laughed and smiled. I couldn't help but smile as her small dimples showed on her face.

I mouthed a quick 'Thank you' to him, and walked through his door and flew down the stairs as fast as I could. I gathered up all of my things, throwing my phone in my purse and grabbing Hayley's diaper bag with it. Jenna spotted me and walked cautiously towards me.

"Hey what's going on?" she pondered as she looked at me intently, watching my every move like a hawk.

"Um, I have to get home, get some things settled," I lied, but Jenna saw through my bluff.

"Did you and Damon talk?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Everything came rushing back, and I, I just have some thinking to do, I guess." I explained and she nodded. I watched as she nonchalantly moved a nonexistent piece of hair away from her face with her left hand, and gasped in shock. "You're engaged?" I exclaimed as I mentally slapped myself for not noticing earlier. I jumped up and threw my arms around her. "Congratulations!" I said, and I stepped back. "So when are you planning it?" I wondered.

"We actually wanted a winter wedding," She said, blushing a bit.

"Wait, _this _winter? When did you get engaged?" I asked, marveling at how much I had missed.

"We got engaged last winter, right before Spring actually." She stated, and I nodded appreciatively. "Elena, I have something to ask you." She said. I nodded for her to continue.

"Since I have no girlfriends, would you like to be my maid of honor?" She asked, and my eyes widened, and I gave her the 'you already know the answer to that' nod.

"Of course I would love to." I replied, wondering who the best man would be.

"Is Jer in the wedding?" I asked, trying to get as much info as possible before leaving.

"Yeah, he's a groomsmen." She answered. "Caroline, Meredith, and Bonnie are bridesmaids too." She smiled warmly, and a full blown smile came across my face. It was so good to finally see Jenna happy.

"Wow, look at how late it is," I said, looking at my wrist. It was almost eleven, and I knew Hayley would be sleeping late tomorrow. I walked towards the stairs, but Jeremy was already coming down the stairs with Hayley in his arms. I smiled and took Hayley from him, putting her jacket on.

"Do you want her pack and play or do you want it here?" Jer asked watching Hayley and I.

"I'll leave it here, I mean I'll be here plenty now that we have your wedding to plan." I smiled at Jenna. "Thank you so much Jeremy." I said, and kissed him on the cheek. I already had my jacket on, and I grabbed my purse and the diaper bag and walked out the door, Hayley in one hand, and my keys in the other.

I pulled into my complex, and took the diaper bag and purse and slung them over my shoulder. I got out and walked to the backseat and unbuckled Hayley's car seat. I lifted her into my arms, kissing her cheek as I closed the door with my hip and locking the door at the same time. I had gotten quite good at multi-tasking thanks to Hayley.

I through the double doors leading into the main admin building, and walked passed the elevator to the stairs. I never went in elevators ever since I was a little kid because I had gotten stuck in one with Jeremy when we were at a doctors office when the power went out.

I walked to my door, and put the key in the slot, turning the doorknob and pulling my key out. I shut the door and locked it before taking Hayley to her room and laying her down. I cracked the door, walking to my room, kicking my shoes off and sighing as I heard the soft rise and fall of Hayley's breathing through the monitor. The wind stirred around me, and I realized that I hadn't slept here before, and that vampire didn't need an invitation in yet. I looked to my desk, ready to grab the chair and brake the leg off and use it as a stake.

"Elena." The voice said, and then Stefan was standing before me.

"Stefan, what are you doing here?" I asked.

**Stefan's POV**

I gazed down at Elena as I tried to see the differences in her. She mostly looked the same, perhaps just a few small differences, like she looked tired.

"How have you been?" I asked her, honestly just wanting her to talk to me at this point.

"Things have really changed," She murmured, looking away from me.

"Damon's in town, you know?" I told her, trying to seem casual.

"Stefan, I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I really don't want to talk about Damon, especially with his brother." She pointed out. I nodded, looking around her apartment.

"Nice." I said, and she gave me a small smile. "so how long are you staying?" I asked, trying to get some information out of her.

"It's open for interpretation at this point." She nodded, and looked appreciatively around her. "I don't want to give this up to quick since I just finished it and moved in, -although John may be a problem." she announced.

"I could talk to him." I suggested.

"Or threaten him." Elena concluded. I laughed.

"Yeah. Or that." I agreed.

"Honestly Stefan, I'm going to see what happens. I don't want John around me or Hayley at all." She said.

"Hayley?" I asked, and Elena's eye widened.

"Stefan, please don't get upset." She said, and I nodded, already mentally preparing myself. "After I went to college, when you and I broke up, Matt and I, sort of, rekindled our relationship for a while, and I was stupid, and got pregnant." She sighed, and I couldn't do anything but disappear from Elena's apartment.

**Damon's POV**

So here I was, laying in the middle of the road, waiting for some unlucky person to drive up, and stop to ask if I was alright. I had my eyes closed, trying to clear my head. But it wouldn't work. My thoughts kept trailing back to the dark-haired beauty Elena that I could never deserve.

I heard a car brake stop, and a door open as I heard clicking heels running in my direction. "Sir, are you okay?" the woman asked, bewilderment in her voice. "What happened?" She asked.

"I'm, lost," I managed.

"In the middle of the road?" She asked, pulling out her cell phone.

"I'm not that kinda lost." I sighed as I sat up. "Metaphorically, existentially." I said, gazing up at her.

"You need help?" She asked. I scoffed.

"Why, yes I do. Can you help me?" I rolled my eyes and pulled out a flask filled with Scotch, taking a hearty swig.

"Your drunk." She pointed out, as the alcohol burned its way down my throat.

"No, uh, yes, a little, maybe." She started walking back towards her car. "No, please don't leave, I really do need help." I pleaded. She kept walking and I flashed over to her using my vampire speed. "Don't move." I compelled her as she shivered.

"I don't want any trouble." She stated.

"Neither do I." I said desperately. "But that's all I got, is trouble." I said, my eyes watering, taking another swig from the flask.

"Why can't I move?" The girl asked, her eyes filled with fear. I put my hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye.

"What's your name?" I asked, trying to calm her.

"Jessica." she said in a shaky voice.

"Jessica, I have a secret. I have a big one." I started, trying to find the words to verbalize all the feelings I had bottled up. "And I've never said it a out loud. I mean, what's the point? It's not gonna, change anything, it's not gonna make me good, it's not gonna, make me adopt a puppy." I spat. "I can't be what people want me to be. What _she_ wants me to be." I emphasized, my head swirling in memories and thoughts of _Elena_. I grabbed her shoulders again. "This is who I am, Jessica."

"Are you going to hurt me?" She asked, her voice still shaky.

"I'm not sure." I whispered. I blinked, and ran my hands through her hair. "Because you, are my existential crisis. Do I kill you, or do I not kill you?" I pondered.

"Please don't." She pleaded.

"But I have to Jessica. Because I'm not human." I finally admitted. "And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world!" I stressed. "That is my secret. But there's only so much hurt a man can take." I waved my hands down in pity.

"Please don't," She started, tears now in her eyes.

"Okay," I breathed. "Your free to go." I removed the compulsion she was under. She gasped and ran towards her car, but I turn to look at her right as she reached her door. I flashed over to her and turned her around, and sunk my fangs into her neck, relieving my sorrow as much as I could.

**Elena's POV**

It had been a long night. Jenna had called me early, and said she would take Hayley for the day, so I could go around town, see new things that I had missed while I was away.

I dropped Hayley off with Jenna, and told her to call me if anything happens. I walked back to my car, and put the key in ignition and turned it. The radio came on, and my now favorite song was playing. 'She walks In' By Easton was on, and I turned the music up, almost blasting it. I decided to go to the Grill, and get a table.

I pulled out my diary, and started writing, as always when I needed someone to talk to.

_Dear Diary,_

_Everything is different right now, I barely know which way is up. All I know is that Damon is the one person I know I can't hurt-I know that no matter what happens, I can't let myself hurt him. _

_Stefan knows about Hayley, and to my relief, hasn't shown up since last night when I told him about her-he really upset me. _

_I don't know where Damon and I stand together, but I know where he stands, and where I stand. Apart, we're good. But together we're just that much better. I didn't realize how much I truly missed him until I saw him last night, and you don't understand how much I wish to be with him, but I don't now how to do that without hurting him._

_How could he want me, after I was with his brother, and now have a child with Matt, who was never one of his favorite people? And the fact that he and I are staying in town, only makes me want him more-_

_But I have no idea where to go from here._

I stopped writing as someone sat down next to me.

Damon.

"Hey." He said, not looking at me. I lifted his chin, and noticed his eyes were considerably darker than last night.

"Damon, come here." I said and I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing his shoulders. "Let's get out of here." I nodded against him, trying to get him out of his depression. "C'mon, don't be sad, you'll make me sad." I smiled at him. He stood up, and followed me out of the Grill to my car.

I decided to drive back to the boarding house, knowing Damon and I were going to talking for a while.

As soon as I had one hand on the wheel, I took Damon's in my other hand and squeezed his. I pulled into the driveway, and Damon opened my door for me.

I dropped my keys in my purse, and Damon opened the front door for me again. I dropped my purse on the ground, as Damon shut the door.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him close. "I made a decision." I whispered in his ear. He instantly pulled out of my arms, and held me by my shoulders, looking me in the eyes.

"About what?" He asked, and I smiled.

"Us." I explained, and took both of his hands in mine. "I honestly can't picture myself with anyone else, and the only thing keeping me in Mystic falls is you." I said, as his eyes lit up. "I'm willing to give us another try if you are." I smiled at him.

His answer spoke the world to me, even though it was a kiss on my lips.

**So there you go Delena fans- Damon and Elena are together. Struggling with this story a lot, but the favorite stories, favorite authors and reviews are fueling this story right now, so be good and review!**

**Carly**

**P.S. I am in love with Ian Somerhalder(duh) especially since the first thing we see on TVD this week was Damon in the shower…(HOT)**

**Alright, I'm done here. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow. Long time no-see. I haven't been on fan fiction in a while, and I got inspired to write with some personal issues taking over my life. I hope I can still please you guys at least.**

**P.S. The stuff in **_**italics**_** are flashbacks that Elena will be having in the next few chapters.**

**FOUR**

**Elena's POV**

_I was terrified. I had my arms wrapped around my knees and my head pushed against my arms. My back was leaning against my door, and I was crying. _

I sat up in bed, and ran my hand through my hair. Damon was sitting in a chair by my door, his eyes closed. I gazed at him, and he looked so peaceful. Almost vulnerable.

I walked towards the door, and turned the handle as quietly as I could. I walked outside, and sat on the porch. It was lightning and thundering outside, and I remembered back when I was younger how I used to be afraid. Now it didn't phase me- In fact, I actually almost enjoyed the pouring rain.

I put my head in my hands, and tried to clear my head of everything, but it just made me think more.

_I tried to scream, but my mouth wouldn't open. I tried to run, but my legs wouldn't move._

It was almost as if I could feel the pain all over again.

**John's POV**

I almost regretted leaving things the way I did with Elena- I figured we would have a chance to work through our differences at Christmas dinner.

Before I could even think, I had my car keys in my hand. I didn't know where to go in my conscious- My subconscious however, was taking me to the liquor store.

**Damon's POV**

I rubbed my eyes as I awoke from a crack of thunder. I looked around, but I didn't see Elena anywhere. I walked over to a window and looked on the porch, and saw her curled into a ball in one of the chairs. I debated on going outside or staying inside, but since Hayley was here, I went to check on her before I went outside with Elena.

I walked into Hayley's room, and saw her sleeping softly on her back. I stroked her small cheek with my index finger, and examined her face. _She looks very much like her mother_, I thought.

I lightly kissed her forehead as if she was my own, and walked to the door. I swiftly opened it, Elena not moving even though she knew I was with her now. It surprised me she didn't flinch when I wrapped my arms around her shoulders from behind.

I kissed her neck, and moved my lips to her cheek, lingering there for a moment, taking in her scent. I motioned to get another chair and sit in front of her, but her arms raised, her eyes still closed. I picked her up and sat down in he chair with her on my lap, her arms wound around my neck. I clutched at her, holding her tight.

"Elena, tell me what's wrong." I pleaded, and she responded by lifting her head a little and kissing my neck. She pulled back more and placed her hands lightly on either side of my face, and kissed me. I didn't break our kiss as I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could. She pulled back once more, locking her eyes with mine. I watched as tears fell silently down her cheeks. I brushed them away with the pads of my thumbs, and put my index finger underneath her chin, tilting her head up.

"I love you." I said, and she nodded, tears still falling.

"Damon, I love you too. I always have, but this is wrong." My heart crashed. "I'm not good for you." She said, and I had to stop myself from laughing in her face.

"_You're_ not good for _me_?" I asked absurdly. She had it reversed. I had gotten better being civilized and all that crap, but it was because of her.

"Damon you don't know the half of it." She said standing up, but I caught her wrist.

"Then tell me. Explain it to me." I said but she just looked at me. I wasn't going to push her, so I just kissed her forehead and opened the door for her.

**~Christmas Eve~ **

**Damon's POV**

Elena and I had been together officially since December 1st, so I had every intention of making her have the best Christmas possible. Knowing Elena, she didn't really want anything. Although I had gotten her one thing, and then the rest was a surprise.

I had had a ring made special for her.

**Elena's POV**

Damon almost never left my side- other than to hunt. Jenna had questioned me about what Damon and I were doing for Christmas and I told her that he was going to surprise me. She then offered to keep Hayley for the night.

I was wearing a black sweetheart dress that hit me mid-thigh and silver flats. My makeup was pretty natural and I had silver hoop earrings on. Damon was at his house, changing his clothes. He still hadn't told me what we were doing, and I couldn't think of much to do during the dead of winter. I heard a knock at the door, and I knew it was him.

I walked to the door and opened it, and he enveloped me in his arms. He pulled back but still kept me flush against him as he kissed my lips passionately. I grabbed a gray sweater and then walked to his car. He was driving towards his house, and I hadn't been down the winding road that led there since I was 17. But he didn't turn into his driveway.

Instead, turned onto a dirt path I had never noticed before. He parked on the side of the path, and got out of his car. He used his vampire speed and opened my door for me. He grabbed my hand, and with his other hand covered my eyes, and started leading me into the woods. He stopped, and then lightly removed his hand from my eyes.

I saw candles, and a picnic basket, and a single, long-stemmed red rose. "And here I thought you were a hopeless romantic." I said as I turned and smiled at him. I cupped his cheek and brought his lips to meet mine. My tongue swept along his lower lip, and I heard him growl in response. I pulled back and grinned at him wickedly. "And by the way, the expression on your face is priceless." I said giggling.

His hand found mine once more and he kissed my cheek and led me to sit on top of the blanket he had spread on the ground. I sat down and stretched my legs and crossed my ankles. He pulled out a bottle of Cambria from the basket and I looked at him in surprise. He knew my favorite wine? He poured me a glass half full, and handed it to me. I took a sip, and swished it around in my mouth, tasting the sweetness of it before swallowing.

Even as I saw Damon taking food out of the basket, I declined on accepting it, saying my stomach was upset. I watched as Damon ate, and he gave me little bites of what he ate, saying it was delicious. Damon took a final sip of his wine, and cupped my cheek. I leaned into his touch, kissing his palm. He kissed me softly, sucking on my lower lip. I deepened the kiss. Bringing him down on top of me. He pressed his full weight on me, pressing kisses everywhere. I could feel him shudder against me, and I pushed his chest upwards a little, so that he could breathe air that was saturated with my scent. I noticed the veins showing under his eyes, and I stroked them. He looked at me, and stood up. I leaned forward, adjusting my dress. He grabbed my hand once more and led me farther into the woods. "What are you doing?" I asked with a smile.

"You'll see." he said kissing my lips chastely. He walked with his arm tight around my hip, and stopped once more. I didn't see anything, until Damon started taking his clothes off. I looked away smiling, and looked back to see him with nothing but his pants on. I stepped closer to him, and saw the reason why he was stripping.

A hot spring.

I didn't even know they still had these around here, and when I saw it, I immediately grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. Damon gazed at me with drunk eyes, and I trailed my index finger across his chest. Damon went before me, and jumped into the hot spring, splashing me in the process. He emerged, and he held his arms up and I stepped and fell into them. He held me by my waist and hugged me from behind. He kissed my shoulder and pressed his cheek against mine. I turned and pressed my lips to his passionately. I placed my hands on either side of his face, and deepened the kiss, parting my lips as he ran his nipped my lower lip. I breathed into his mouth, and he slipped his tongue inside my mouth. We stayed in each other's arms for what seemed like ages, but when I noticed my fingers getting wrinkly, I thought it was time to get out.

Damon helped me with my dress, and buttoned up his shirt in record time. Surprisingly, I wasn't cold when I stepped out into the crisp air.

"Want to come to the boarding house?" Damon asked me. _As if you had to ask,_ I thought.

"Absolutely." I said, and sighed in contentment. We got into his car and drove about a mile back up the dirt path. He parked his car in his garage and opened the door for me once more. I walked straight upstairs, and walked into Damon's room. Nothing had changed. I still remembered this place, I just hadn't been here in 5 years.

Damon shed his shirt and pants once again, and I walked into the bathroom changing into one of his shirts. I walked out of the bathroom, and saw him. I walked behind him and hugged him tight, resting my forehead against his back. He turned the light out, and walked to the bed. He pulled the covers back and I climbed in after him.

He pulled me on top of him, and stroked my hair. I leaned in and pressed my lips gently to his. He flipped us so that he was on top of me, and kissed me agonizingly slow, taking his time. I parted my lips, and our tongues were swirling together. He kissed me more aggressively, our passion and wanting for each other finally reaching the surface and pouring over. His hands lifted my shirt up, exposing the skin on my stomach. He leaned down and kissed my scar from when I had Hayley. He lifted the shirt up and off of me, throwing it aside. I could feel his fear and smiled. I pulled the covers over my head, and nuzzled my face against Damon's neck, reliving the moment over and over again during the night.

**~Christmas Day~**

**Elena's POV**

I was held in Damon's strong arms all night long. I looked over at the clock on his nightstand. 12:57.

Wow. I hadn't slept that late in years.

Unfortunately, Damon was just as strong asleep as he was awake, so I turned in his arms, and kissed his nose. I kissed his forehead and then tried to unwind his arms from me. I succeeded, and picked a pillow up from the ground and threw it at him. He opened his eyes again and squinted, then smiled at me. He flashed over to me, and kissed my neck.

I walked into the bathroom, and grabbed a towel. I was fully aware Damon had followed me and I turned the water on and hot. Damon grabbed the shampoo, and started massaging my scalp, and I leaned against him. He positioned me under the showerhead, and rinsed the suds away. I took the bottle away from him and poured some into my hand, running my hands through his silky black hair. He switched places with me, and was standing under the water now. I put my hands on his chest, feeling his muscles.

He placed his hands on mine, and brought them to his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer to him, and I gazed up at him, and kissed his nose, a tender and sweet gesture. He smiled down at me, a genuine smile. Not his cocky grin that everyone else saw.

"I like that you only smile like that at me." I whispered against his chest, and he kissed my head, resting his chin on top of it. I sighed in a mixture of bliss and exhaustion and kissed his chest, reaching around him to turn the water off. He stepped out of the tub before me, and handed me a towel. I walked into his bedroom, and grabbed one of his shirts and my underwear from last night. Damon was already dressed, in black as usual. His hair was still wet and it made him look younger with it all spiked out.

"How about if I go to your place and get your things for today, and then I'll make you something to eat?" he said smiling at me.

"Sounds good." I said smiling. I kissed his lips longingly and then pulled back. I swatted at his butt as he walked past me. It was as if I could feel a part of me leaving when I heard the front door close.

My stomach felt like it was going to inhale itself when Damon left, so I walked into the kitchen, and turned one of the burners on the stove on. I grabbed a griddle out from a cupboard and placed it on the burner. I got out butter, six pieces of bread, and three pieces of cheese. I would surprise Damon by making grilled cheese, one of the easier things I knew how to make.

After I spread butter on the bread, I assembled the sandwiches and put them on the griddle. I got out a spatula, and waited for the sandwiches to be golden brown. I flipped then onto two plates once they were done, and went into the fridge and got grape juice. I poured two glasses, and sat down, not willing to wait for Damon to get home. When I got to my second bite, I heard the door open and close. I didn't move as I heard Damon come up behind me. He placed his hands on my shoulders, giving my a reassuring squeeze and kissed my cheek lovingly.

He sat down across from me and looked at me, grateful I had made the sandwiches for him. He bit into it and moaned, and I smiled to myself. I could do things right sometimes. He devoured both of his sandwiches as I was on my last sip of juice. He gulped down his glass in one swig.

He got my dish for me as walked next to him, and kissed his cheek. I got a towel, and he washed while I dried the dishes. I put the dishes away, and Damon grabbed me around my waist, and hugged me close to his chest. I turned and kissed his lips.

_I cried out. I just wanted it to be over but he wouldn't stop. _

I pulled back, and looked straight ahead of me, thinking of what just happened. "You okay?" Damon asked me, looking at me worriedly. I nodded. It was simple things like just being with him that made everything better. His presence and aura could set me at ease as soon as he set foot in the room I was in.

I walked upstairs, grabbing my dress on the way up to the bathroom. I closed the door to the bathroom off of Damon's room, and got my curling iron out of the bag that Damon had packed me. I plugged it into the wall, and got my paddle brush out and ran it through my hair. I pulled Damon's shirt up over my head, and put on the new bra and panties from my bag. I slipped my dress over my head. It was royal blue, and hit me mid thigh again. It was cotton, and had sleeves that hit right above my elbow, and it was a v-neck. I then started curling my hair into soft waves.

"_You look so beautiful Elena." he said, caressing one of the curls that framed my face._ I closed my eyes at the memory. I couldn't have been more than fourteen in that flashback. I shuddered at what happened next.

_He ripped my dress off, pulling my hair to get me to stop moving. He pulled my panties down to my ankles, and thrust into me._

I opened my eyes at that. I couldn't go back to that time. I had to forget. It hurt too much to see myself, crying, hurting, and he just wouldn't stop. I brushed it off, thinking I was just remembering little snapshots of my life when I was younger.

I put on a little bit of mascara and eyeliner, not wanting it to be over bearing. I put some chap stick on my lips and slipped on my black wedge heels. I grabbed my black military style coat and walked downstairs. I saw Damon in an expensive looking gray silk shirt and black pants. His breath caught when he saw me, and I blushed.

"I wanted to give you this, even though you told me no present." He said, and somewhere inside me, I knew he wouldn't listen to me. He pulled a little box out of his pocket, and handed it to me. I just looked at it, and looked back to him. He nodded for me to open it, so I pinched the lid with my thumb and sighed as I saw what was inside.

A deep blue stone set in a thin silver band. He pulled it out of the box, and slid it on my middle finger, rubbing it with his thumb. I placed my hands on either side of his face, and kissed him long and hard.

"C'mon. We're going to be late." I said, walking to his car, smiling the entire car ride to Jenna's.

**Damon's POV **Elena had been silent the entire night, and she had grabbed my hand in the car, and was holding on for dear life as we pulled up to Jenna's house. I looked at her, and she just gazed out the window. I tipped her chin towards me with my index finger, and looked into her eyes, She was afraid- Of what, I wasn't sure. But I promised myself I wouldn't let anything happen to her. I kissed her, silently telling her she was safe with me.

"I love you." She said, and I ran my thumb over her lower lip, nodding, mouthing "I love you too." to her. I leaned my forehead against hers, and kissed her forehead before opening the door.

Elena walked in front of me, up to the door.

"You look beautiful, unless you didn't catch me drooling over you." I said, trying to set her at ease.

**Elena's POV**

I opened the door, not knocking since we were right on time for dinner. Jenna saw me, and hugged me tight. She even hugged Damon as I walked through the living room. Jeremy was holding Hayley when I walked in, so I decided to let him have a break so he could do whatever. He handed her to me, and I kissed her cheek. I sat on the love seat, and watched as my cousin Meredith, my aunt Vanessa, and my uncle Brad walk into the living room. They all looked at me with endearment, and Damon walked in and sat next to me. He kissed Hayley on the cheek, and I smiled.

"Aunt Vanessa, Uncle Brad, Meredith, this is my boyfriend, Damon." I said ecstatic that I could say that. Damon stood up and shook Brad's hand, and nodded at my aunt. Damon wrapped his arm around my waist, and I leaned into him.

I heard Jenna talking to someone, and I regrettably looked up to see John walk in. As soon as I saw him I saw another flashback.

_He was giving me something to drink. I had seen him put something in my tea, and it tasted bad. He wouldn't let me stop drinking it until I drank it all._

_He always said my pajamas were on backwards. He would help me out of them, and then I would wake up with my underwear around my ankles. _

My head filled with a picture of John- eyes bloodshot, reeking of alcohol, over-powering me. I stiffened in Damon's arms, and he whispered in my ear, "Are you alright?" I nodded slowly, and stood up.

"Can you hold her? I'm going to go get some air." I walked outside and sat on the hanging bench. I hugged myself and silently remembered more memories of when it happened. I closed my eyes, wanting to just curl into a ball and die.

_Touching me, feeling me through my clothes, making me wear certain things, kissing my cheek all the time._

_It all made sense, and I had never been able to put two and two together. _

John had abused me when I was younger. I never knew who it was because I couldn't recognize him. After I was fifteen, when my parents died, I forgot all about my pain and focused on my parent's. I never went back to then.

"Elena, we need to talk." I heard him call, and it felt like I was reliving the pain all over again.

**So… Yep. Hope you like. Might have to change the rating for this now, but let me know what you guys think! **

**In case you didn't notice, this update is way overdue, so if you be good and review it will inspire me to write more!**

**PEACE!**

**~Carly **


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